i hosed it.
i tried to re-compile the kernel ( tekno helped me understand a lot over aim, thanks again! ) .. but toward the end i forgot to run lilo before i restarted the server.
it boots up to just
li which means the MBR is screwed up. server is co-located and i have no boot disk.
it seems like debian is real picky about being re-compiled because i've tried to do this before and got the same thing.
the ONLY thing common between both instances where i tried to re-compile the kernel is that i didn't know to run lilo the first time, .. and the last time i forgot.
an admin at the data center is going to try to recover it today, .. but i'm not holding my breath.